I said something today and it broke my heart but I also know I need to accept it because it’s true. I’m used to not being supported. I’m used to it. And saying that out loud sucks because deep down, I know how true that is.
It sucks because I’m used to not having literally anyone support me. Not a mom, a dad, a fairy godmother, nothing. That is a fact of my life. I’ve been trying to fight it and I’ve been trying to force people to love me, but I can’t. You can’t make people love you. You can’t make people believe in you. You can’t make people support you.
I never wanted to be alone but I need to accept that I am. I always have been. I’m used to this. No money, no family, 16 in the middle of Miami. That’s literally all I know.
That is today. Today I have no money, no support, and no (real) family. In the middle of LA. 😋
Guess what? It’s ok. I’m not going to be here forever. I am going to spend the rest of my life making money and loving the man of my dreams. I know that. But I can’t get there if I don’t accept where I am now.
I am alone. I have no support. I can’t spend my life looking for something that just isn’t here right now.
I don’t want to waste my life anymore. I need to accept that I am alone so I can work at not being alone. I need to accept that I’m financially unstable (broke AF) so I can work at being financially stable by myself. I need to accept that no one is saving me, so I can learn how to save myself.
The girl that never wanted to be alone finally has to accept that she is. Cliché as fuck, but I am the only person I can depend on. I need to learn that. I need to learn to love that.
The beautiful part? It’s ok. It’s ok because I’m used to it. I know I can do it. I can live with 0 support and thrive. Not many people can do that. But I can. ❤️
I write these posts because I can’t be the only one who feels this way. I can’t be the only girl surrounded by people who feels absolutely alone. I can’t be the only girl who clings to every guy she dates because she’s praying he’s finally going to be her Prince Charming.
My Prince Charming might be out there, but this is Frozen, not Sleeping Beauty. My husband will love and support my strength, but he can’t love something that isn’t there.
I don’t want to be alone. I want unconditional love and nothing less. I need to learn how to give that to myself, first.
Also, my GoFundMe got hundreds of views and raised $0. And so many people, friends and family included, told me they believed in my idea and supported my dream. Not one donation.
It’s ok. I’m not mad. It’s Christmas and people have bigger priorities. My idea is still phenomenal and I am still going to shake up the entire world. The whole damn thing. I know that. I got this, on my own.
I might even raise more money than I expected. 😋
Song of the Day: Work x Iggy Azalea👑