Why Millennials Suck! 🤖

So if you talk to people above 30, they think we’re as*holes. Why? Because we’re millennials and “millennials suck”!

Here’s a breakdown of why we “suck” so much:

We’re lazy. Social media and Postmates have created a reality where we want everything now, and we don’t want to put in any effort to get it. We don’t even have to leave our apartments to see our friends or have a fancy dinner, so why would we get up for anything else?

We’re lazy, and I like it. We’ve also mastered efficiency, which older people could benefit from.

We’re privileged and extremely entitled. As someone who didn’t come from privilege, I can proudly say my entitlement is on one hundred. I have big dreams and I plan on accomplishing them. I feel entitled to my success because I’m willing to work for it! Don’t like it? Sue me ( jk).

Side note, that incredible sense of entitlement is also why women in our generation are finally learning to negotiate their salaries and ask for raises!

We’re impatient. Referencing that digital age again, everything happens in an instant. And we’re used to it. Here’s the important lesson: learn to keep up.

While patience is important (because life isn’t digital), most of our lives are digital. There is a fine line between getting upset because your mobile order is 5 minutes late and learning how to be nice to baristas IRL. We must learn the balance, admittedly.

Now here’s why I think we’re awesome:

First and foremost, we’re making MONEY! No generation before us has ever relied on entrepreneurship and social marketing the way we do. And they never got paid the way we do either, except for like, Mark Zuckerberg.

According to Bloomberg, millionaires are getting younger and younger. With a combination of daddy’s money + self made fortunes #KyleJenner, millennials and beyond are creating our own wealth and making names for ourselves far quicker than our predecessors. See, there’s something to be said for impatience!

Here’s the story of a millennial who went from broke to millionaire in 5 years.

Next, we’re the dreamers and the game changers! We are innovative and changing the world. Literally.

We challenge dated assumptions. We don’t follow traditional career trajectories and we go out and create the companies we want to see. Some people work in offices with no windows, some people make six figures filming YouTube videos in Los Angeles.

We just elected the youngest woman ever to Congress @AlexandraOcasiaCortex #29. In fact, we elected more women into congress than ever before! We are questioning gender roles in particular. Men aren’t the only ones who work and dads taking care of their children is no longer considered babysitting. It’s now called parenting.

Not to mention, we listen to our feelings, which is important. #selflove isn’t privilege; it’s a necessity and we understand the importance of being sympathetic to ourselves and others.

We’re the best because the generations before us fucked up the world and we’re ready and willing to fix it! Technology, global warming, world’s longest government shutdown… all problems from before us. That we will fix!

We might be lazy and entitled, but those are just some of the things that make us great. Kick up your feet, order Postmates, and get ready to change the world. Right now. 😂

Song of the Day: All Star x Smash Mouth

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2 thoughts on “Why Millennials Suck! 🤖

  1. Great piece! As far as you all changing the world, I’d say: Prove it. If all eligible Millennials vote then your generation can choose the next president.

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