When I first saw Black Twitter tear Ayesha Curry to shreds, I laughed and laughed and laughed. I remembered Ayesha’s 2015 tweet telling other women to, “keep the good stuff covered up for the one who matters” and then I laughed again. Steph not hitting it right or something? Is he not still “the one who matters”? Sounds like Ayesha is finally getting what she deserves to me. But then I thought about it..
Here’s what I want to say to Ayesha Curry: I don’t agree with your Red Table Talk comment. I don’t see why a woman would want to be ogled by men who are not her husband. Most of us want a husband so that those other men will literally leave us alone.
Here’s what I do agree with: Ayesha’s right to say whatever she wants and to feel beautiful and wanted every single day. Mom’s get to feel beautiful. Mom’s of three get to feel beautiful. Moms who are also wives of famous well-respected NBA players get to feel beautiful. Single 25 year old writers living in Seattle get to feel beautiful. And we don’t get to shame these women for wanting to feel desired. In Ayesha’s words, “I am human.”
For those who missed it, during Ayesha’s Red Table Talk with Jada Pinkett Smith, Ayesha commented on Steph’s abundance of groupies and said, “Like the past 10 years, I don’t have any of that. I have zero- this sounds weird- but like, male attention, and so then I begin to internalize it, and I’m like, ‘Is something wrong with me?'”
Men want to feel desired, women want to feel desired; sex is literally how we procreate. It keeps the world going! But people seem to love to shame women for our sexuality and that is not ok. Donald Trump, our sitting President, literally likes to, “grab women by the pussy” and that’s apparently fine, but a gorgeous 30 year old mom of three can’t tell the world she wants to feel desired? Because her husband constantly has women throwing themselves at him all hours of the day?
As WOMEN we ALL need to stick up for Ayesha Curry and protect her right to feel beautiful and desired, and to say it out loud, because it’s our right too. I might not agree with what she said, but I agree with why she said it. Ayesha’s comment might have made me uncomfortable, but I still stand by her right to say it.
Side note: I have a Facebook friend who constantly posts online about her sexual talents. Like, I know way too much and it does make me uncomfortable, but I also know she’s freaking proud of herself and all of her capabilities. And I respect that.
For women who want to feel desired, here are my tips:
1. Make yourself feel beautiful every single day. Take a spa day, or save money and stock up on Target face masks for a spa-night. Drink a glass of wine and watch stripper dance lesson videos on YouTube. Wear high heels to work if it makes you stand taller. This works!
2. Wear lingerie for your boyfriend/husband and make sure his mouth drops to the floor when he sees you. Single? Wear lingerie for your damn self. And take pics.
3. Write out a list of all the things you love about yourself. In the case of my FB friend, I know she loves her sexual prowess. Home girl is not vanilla. What do you love about yourself?
4. Moms, take your kids out for mani-pedis so you can treat yourself too. Kids tend to be discounted. Or leave them with the babysitter and treat yourself!
5. Go out for drinks with your girls and flirt up a storm. Never give out your number, don’t go home with anyone, and use a fake name. Mine is Bianca.
Personally, I think Ayesha made her comment because Stephen is lacking in the bedroom, but that’s none of my business. Because your husband’s approval should be enough… but is it? How satisfied are you girl?? Steph Curry kisses her ass, but does he tap that ass as well? Again, none of my business.
As women we need to desire ourselves first. Because sometimes our men forget and it’s ok to want to feel desirable! We’re human.
And random men, shut the fuck up. Her body, her choice. Stop getting mad because beautiful women don’t desire you. It’s wildly hypocritical.
Oh and Ayesha, stop slut shaming women in your tweets. You can’t perpetuate a high-saddity-married-women-are-better-than-thou narrative and then be mad when it’s used against you. That’s why people don’t like you. And that logic isn’t very nice either.
Song of The Day: Can’t Hold Us Down x Christina Aguilera & Lil Kim