Frustrated? Don’t Lock Your Roomie In The Bathroom 😉


I threw a temper tantrum yesterday. It was small and semi-concealed and involved me talking to 2 supervisors, HR, and eventually my district manager (sister of a family friend) for a day off. I got ½ a day. Instead of 10 hours Sunday, I work 4. 🙃 At first I thought I was being a […]

July 3, 2019

From Poor to Upper Middle Class 💅🏼


I woke up in Alaska today! 30 hours of travel was absolutely BRUTAL (and I still need a nap) but I freaking woke up in Alaska today! My room is unpacked, I have a dresser and a closet I share with my 70+ year old roommate, and I get to live in Alaska for the […]

June 30, 2019

I Don’t Want A Job, I Want A Baby 🧸


Just talked to my mom and she dropped that little “B” word again: burden. I do not want a job. In fact, I have NEVER wanted a job. I have literally quit every job I’ve ever had and just last week I turned down a $55k marketing position in Los Angeles to be unemployed in […]

June 13, 2019

Welcome to Seattle! Failing Out Loud 🚣


So I’ve been homeless for 3 months. I’ve lived in at least 6 cities, tripled the names in my contact list, and traded my MacBook Air for an iPad with a keyboard because iPads have data and travel is life. My Verizon phone bill is Unlimited Everything and $150 a month. And I can’t tell […]

May 23, 2019

Why Millennials Suck! 🤖


So if you talk to people above 30, they think we’re as*holes. Why? Because we’re millennials and “millennials suck”! Here’s a breakdown of why we “suck” so much: We’re lazy. Social media and Postmates have created a reality where we want everything now, and we don’t want to put in any effort to get it. […]

February 6, 2019

Don’t Be A Jealous B*tch 🐬


People are not always going to like me. Including blonde birthday girls who try and get me kicked out of bars because their friends like me too much. People are not always going to like you, because of their own insecurities. I won’t stop being charming, or beautiful, or funny. I won’t apologize or give […]

January 19, 2019

I Can Fix All Your Problems 💋


Here’s the thing: I get way too attached. To boys, ideas, very specific foods. When I like something I hold on forever because it is my everything and I must fight to the death to protect it. I’m a hopeless romantic and I believe in grand gestures, unconditional love, and epic battle scenes. That being […]

January 12, 2019

What I Mean When I Say, “I Feel Fat” 💩


We live in a society where everyone is offended by everything. Do you ever feel like you can’t say anything without someone taking it the wrong way, putting their spin on it, or straight up telling you what you should be saying instead? I feel this way. It infuriates me. So let me tell you […]

December 28, 2018