Don’t Be A Jealous B*tch 🐬

People are not always going to like me.

Including blonde birthday girls who try and get me kicked out of bars because their friends like me too much. People are not always going to like you, because of their own insecurities.

I won’t stop being charming, or beautiful, or funny. I won’t apologize or give you the spotlight. I’m here, whether you like it or not. And the next time you get angry with a girl for being too nice, ask yourself why you’re being such a jealous b*tch. 

I’m sorry you don’t think your friends like you very much. Try *not being a raging ball of sadness. It is common knowledge that the anger you project onto others is a reflection of the fears within yourself. That’s what you need to work on. 

Instead of hating a girl for being pretty, ask yourself if you feel pretty. Before you fat shame someone, ask yourself if you are feeling fat. And then go to thy gym and up those endorphins so you can stop being a salty bxtch!

😍

I can only be me, in all my glory, in all my crazy, in all my wild beauty. Whether you like me or not, I’m not sorry I outshine you. Let’s shine together, and that starts with trading jealousy for growth. Yup! 

❤️🌞❤️

Song of the Day: Me Too x Meghan Trainor 

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How To Find The Perfect Job 🦸🏽‍♀️

So if you follow me on Instagram, then you’ve heard the great news: I found a job!

Honestly, I’d given up on the job search and decided Freelance Or Die, but then I met a really cool fashion designer and the game totally changed. Basically, I asked myself 2 questions. She passed. And the rest is history!

Here’s how to find YOUR perfect job:

1. Does this further my future goals?

Do you have goals other than have a 50 year career, retire, then die? Does your current job even have a 50 year lifespan? Would you prefer to start your own business? Has your dream in life always been owing a spiked lemonade stand?

These are questions you need to ask. If you want to save a lot of money and retire early in Thailand, that job is going to look a lot different than one meant for an astronaut.

You also need to ask what the job offers? Money. Duh. Opportunities for growth? Opportunities to try different fields? Opportunities to meet your future husband? Tuition reimbursement? Peace of mind? What matters to you?

What’s the point of getting up and going to this job every single day? Go after that.

I suggest picking a career path you’re interested in, finding people to contact, and reaching out to as many future mentors and connects as possible! Indeed works too.

2. Will I make enough money to do what I want?

The next big one, and in my opinion the most important: HOW MUCH ARE YOU GETTING PAID?

A job is something you do for money, not because your boss is nice. Will this job pay you enough to live comfortably?

Will you be living paycheck to paycheck? Can you afford to vacation twice a year? Do you even care to afford vacations or would you rather get company stocks? How much do you need to make to live a happy life inside and outside of work?

If you think money isn’t important, I can honestly tell you it’s the reason I’ve quit every single one of my jobs. If I don’t get paid enough to be miserable, I’m not doing it.

Your money should further your future goals. That’s it. Don’t let it run your life and don’t let a lack of money keep you from living your life.

Moral of the story: Everyone needs a job (because we all need money). Make sure your job makes you happy!

Song of the Day: Money x Cardi B 🥂

I Can Fix All Your Problems 💋

Here’s the thing: I get way too attached. To boys, ideas, very specific foods. When I like something I hold on forever because it is my everything and I must fight to the death to protect it. I’m a hopeless romantic and I believe in grand gestures, unconditional love, and epic battle scenes.

That being said, I’m not really good at dealing with problems. I’m a little dramatic.

I was seeing this guy and he said (something along the lines of), “Think big picture babe, not everything is a battle. Give in to win the war.” And that brought a flutter to my little overly romantic heart. Because I’m also very lazy. And I like not having to fight about everything.

So basically he and I were discussing politics, race relations in America, and how I should learn to calm the fuck down sometimes #whatsyourpillowtalk. And then I remembered Kim Kardashian and the Band-Aids.

Kim and Kanye were fighting because Kim wouldn’t bring Kanye Band-Aids in bed or something, and Kim realized this was stupid, so she refused to bring the Band-Aids. Kanye gets mad and Kim proceeds to vent to Khloe.

Khloe listens then says, “just get the Band-Aids. If it makes him happy and you love your husband, just buy the damn Band-Aids. Who cares?”

That’s the key to life. Focus on the big picture and just deal with the little things. Win the war. That’s how you deal with problems.

Take care of all the small insignificant things, maybe make a few sacrifices, bite your tongue a bit, and then get the big thing you want in the end. The thing you really care about.

Like getting up and getting Band-Aids for your husband because you care that he feels taken care of. Or renting a second car because the engine on your brand new car blew out on your solo road trip to Los Angeles, and you just care about getting there (s/o to my neighbor Keke).

Sometimes you just gotta put on your big girl pants and deal with it. Who cares?

Moral of the Story: Relax. It’s not that deep. Get attached to your love. Remember your fucking dreams and don’t let petty shit derail them. Win the war. And enjoy the party!

Song of the Day: Glorious x Macklemore 💃🏽

Why You Should Work For Women 👠

I’ve recently decided I do not want to work for men anymore. Instead of dragging all my old bosses, let’s focus on the positives! Here’s why you  should work for women!

She is more likely to be your mentor. Women get women and chances are, she’s been in your shoes and can share your point of view. Better yet, she can add to it because she’s already gone through it. Men and women have different experiences and you might be able to better learn from a Girl Boss (get it lol) because she can relate to you.  Also, there are tons of resources specifically for women! (ex: scholarships, bar associations, etc.) and she might be able to help you gain access to those.

Women Achieve Results! Women have things to do! Including raising babies and making 7 figures. We’re great at multitasking; we love efficiency and results! Women tend to be better at working in teams; men tend to treat you like their assistant.

Social Proof: A CNBC article found that companies with female executives are more profitable . I think that’s because women are better at analyzing problems, which leads to more efficient solutions = more profit = more paycheck for you!

(Ideally) No sexual harassment. I promised I would not drag my old bosses, but at least 2 of my old bosses have made inappropriate advances towards me #MeToo. Frankly, I just got tired of having to quit my job because a man couldn’t learn how to keep his hands to himself. Women don’t tend to have that problem. Of course, there are exceptions, but we’re speaking generally here.

Women are more understanding of life things in general. Empathy and emotional intelligence are way more prevalent in women bosses, and that makes me really happy! Women also tend to be better at communication, which makes for a happier workplace.

Balancing work and professional life are no longer impossible.Women are more open to maternity and paternity leave, they understand the concept of work from home, and in general they also want to get home to their lives.

When working for men, I noticed they never try to see my point of view. Which 1. Makes me feel unappreciated and 2. Lowers the company’s retention rate because I don’t like feeling unappreciated. So I leave. And when you constantly quit jobs, you make less overall. Which increases the gender pay gap and have I said this already? You should work for women. 😍

Reminders:

  • She’s still your boss, not your girlfriend.
  • Respect her just as you would respect a man (lots of ppl don’t and that’s rude af).
  • Please do not go out for drinks with any of your bosses, male or female. It’s unprofessional and potentially unsafe. And you might get fired if you do something stupid, because that’s your boss! Don’t pull a Craig and get fired on your day off. ❤️

Song of the Day: Run The World x Beyonce 👑

What I Mean When I Say, “I Feel Fat” 💩

We live in a society where everyone is offended by everything.

Do you ever feel like you can’t say anything without someone taking it the wrong way, putting their spin on it, or straight up telling you what you should be saying instead? I feel this way. It infuriates me.

So let me tell you what happened. The other day I was over a friend’s house and we were drinking vodka and trying on dresses. Because that’s what girls do. And I looked in the mirror and said, “I want to lose ten pounds”.   

All hell broke loose.

In my mind, I thought I was saying: Wow, I look good in this dress! But I see areas I could improve by working out. That’s easy. As a current 8, who the fuck doesn’t want to look like a 10? Who doesn’t want to feel like a badass b*tch?? (now that’s self-improvement!) Hell yeah, I can lose ten pounds and make myself more body-confident in a bikini. Done.

But you can’t say that out loud, because the second you mention the word “fat” you’re the devil or a body shaming bully. How about we blame society for setting and reinforcing these standards? Not to mention, my friend who is saying this is gorgeous and very clearly works out every day. Like, every day.

Maybe I just want to feel good in my own skin, in this world we all live in. If you had a mustache above your lip, would you not wax? Or at least Nair if you don’t want to pay for the wax? But why do we feel so personally attached to fat? It’s fat. It doesn’t make you who you are. If you trim your hair, do you hate yourself?

I had even started to convince myself that I had some mild form of body dysmorphia; I was the crazy one for not loving an unhealthily-high percentage of body fat. For wanting to start running so I wouldn’t get tired from walking up the stairs too fast. For wanting to actually feel confident in an overpriced dress we buy for the sole purpose of looking good. I’m a real life psycho.

No! I want to be a healthy happy human being and I realize this one thing really affects my confidence and body image, so I’m going to change it. And also, obesity is real. Health is science. Stop telling me to stay happy and out of breath.

I see a problem with myself and I want to fix it. That should not be offensive to anyone and if it is, I’m sorry I don’t really care. Please stop telling me how I should love myself.

My body, my choice. I’ll eat healthy and workout if I want to. Haters.

Song of the Day: May I Have This Dance x Francis and The Lights ✨

Go and Love Yourself 🦋

I said something today and it broke my heart but I also know I need to accept it because it’s true. I’m used to not being supported. I’m used to it. And saying that out loud sucks because deep down, I know how true that is.

It sucks because I’m used to not having literally anyone support me. Not a mom, a dad, a fairy godmother, nothing. That is a fact of my life. I’ve been trying to fight it and I’ve been trying to force people to love me, but I can’t. You can’t make people love you. You can’t make people believe in you. You can’t make people support you.

I never wanted to be alone but I need to accept that I am. I always have been. I’m used to this. No money, no family, 16 in the middle of Miami. That’s literally all I know.

That is today. Today I have no money, no support, and no (real) family. In the middle of LA. 😋

Guess what? It’s ok. I’m not going to be here forever. I am going to spend the rest of my life making money and loving the man of my dreams. I know that. But I can’t get there if I don’t accept where I am now.

I am alone. I have no support. I can’t spend my life looking for something that just isn’t here right now.

I don’t want to waste my life anymore. I need to accept that I am alone so I can work at not being alone. I need to accept that I’m financially unstable (broke AF) so I can work at being financially stable by myself. I need to accept that no one is saving me, so I can learn how to save myself.

The girl that never wanted to be alone finally has to accept that she is. Cliché as fuck, but I am the only person I can depend on. I need to learn that. I need to learn to love that.

The beautiful part? It’s ok. It’s ok because I’m used to it. I know I can do it. I can live with 0 support and thrive. Not many people can do that. But I can. ❤️

I write these posts because I can’t be the only one who feels this way. I can’t be the only girl surrounded by people who feels absolutely alone. I can’t be the only girl who clings to every guy she dates because she’s praying he’s finally going to be her Prince Charming.

My Prince Charming might be out there, but this is Frozen, not Sleeping Beauty. My husband will love and support my strength, but he can’t love something that isn’t there.

I don’t want to be alone. I want unconditional love and nothing less. I need to learn how to give that to myself, first.  

Also, my GoFundMe got hundreds of views and raised $0. And so many people, friends and family included, told me they believed in my idea and supported my dream. Not one donation.

It’s ok. I’m not mad. It’s Christmas and people have bigger priorities. My idea is still phenomenal and I am still going to shake up the entire world. The whole damn thing. I know that. I got this, on my own.

I might even raise more money than I expected. 😋

Song of the Day: Work x Iggy Azalea👑

Still NOT Getting A Job ☃️

It’s almost 2019 and I promised myself I would have my life together by 2019. And that matters. Because this honey sets deadlines and she sticks to them, duh.

Everyone has been telling me I need to get a job. All successful adults have jobs. Literally everyone has a job. One day I was walking down Sunset Blvd. and I looked at everyone and thought, “Wow, he has a job…she has a job…I bet they have jobs too. Look! A delivery man, that’s a job”. I was like a kid in a candy store realizing everyone had jobs. Except there seemed to be no candy for me.

I quit my job a little over a year ago because I felt like it was literally eating my soul alive. So this time around, I decided I would get a job that didn’t suck the life from me. And I would have time to travel and work on my foundation and still be home enough for my puppy. Guess what? That job doesn’t exist when you’re 2 years out of college. So I’m still not getting a mother f*cking job. And yes, I will have my life together by 2019. I will have my life together by next mother f*cking week.

I can see this shitty jobless situation as an opportunity to uplift myself and do what I’ve wanted to be doing all along. Working for myself, building my own businesses, being able to afford to vacation whenever I want. I’ve been applying to jobs for weeks now and I’ve always been someone who’s, “never not gotten a job” until now. So imagine me screaming, “DEAR GOD, WHY NOW”.

Well, I think God wants me to get off my ass and do what I was put here to do. Has anyone else noticed my blog is the only thing I do semi-consistently? I’m a writer. I write. I could use some writing classes, but all professionals build on their craft. I am a professional. I have a craft. I’m a writer. 

(BTW, I wrote an ebook that people still buy 🤯)

I’m not getting a job because I’m starting a freelance writing business. A real business. Not Upwork or Fiverr. This weekend. 

Where is all this coming from? Well, I was seeing this guy and one day we were talking  about futures and he said he believed in me. Obviously I rolled my eyes, but in the back of my mind I made note: he “believed” in me, why didn’t I believe in myself?

I know writers don’t make shit tons of money (traditionally) but I’ve never done anything traditionally. And when I care to try, I typically do really well. I’m going to believe in myself and I’m going to start a business built on my talents. And then I’m going to use that money to start a foundation that helps other young women start businesses built on their talents. 

I’m not getting a fucking job.  

They gone have to kill me Grandmama, I’m not they slave.

Song of the Day: What’s Free x Meek Mill 👅 (Jay Z’s verse specifically)

For All the Daughters ❤️

For all the daughters who didn’t get hugs.

For all the daughters who were made to feel small.

For all the daughters who want mommy’s love and daddy’s success.

For the daughters who feel misunderstood.

For the daughters who don’t feel like daughters.

For all the mothers who don’t understand their daughters.

I’m starting a foundation. It’s going to be big and it’s going to be grand and it’s going to make all of this worth it. I am going to build a career where I give women everything I needed when I was young. Everything I need right now, today.

For all the daughters,

I got you.

Your sisters have got you.

We will be your family.

(just give me some time so I can build us a great house that will last forever 🏡)

Song of the Day: Oprah’s Life Advice ☀️🎓

Baby’s First Sabbatical 👼🏽

All this time I’ve been beating myself up because in my mind, I was supposed to be using this time in LA to get YouTube Famous. And as long as I’m not famous, I feel like I’ve failed. Except a year ago I couldn’t even admit that I wanted to be famous because my ex shamed me into thinking it was stupid. So how the hell was I going to become famous when I couldn’t even admit out loud that I wanted it?

All this time I’ve considered myself a failure for not being famous yet, but what if I was doing all the real work in the background? I was healing myself. I was overcoming generations of poverty and lack of opportunity. I was building a career for myself so I wouldn’t have to spend the rest of my life asking someone for a paycheck. I was learning “rich white people” culture so I could finally stop feeling poor and black.

Also, I reread that sentence and instantly thought, “wow that sounds racist”, but let me be clear: It is difficult to live in a society that makes you hate being black. I’m black but I’m not poor. I’m black but I’m not aggressive. I’m not a super predator, or ghetto, or a thug (The Hate U Give). I’m black and there is absolutely nothing wrong with me. I had to overcome self-hatred. I’m black and I’m beautiful.

I look at this beautiful woman I’ve turned into and I forget that I wasn’t always her. I found her. I healed me. I did the work to build the foundation for a future I was never supposed to have. What if all this time I’ve been belittling myself for something so trivial (because let’s be real, we all know I’m going to be YouTube famous at the very least), and all this time I’ve actually been doing something so amazing.

No one else has done this. At least not where I’m from. I don’t know many little girls from Newark, raised by teenage moms, that go from a single parent household in the projects to an Ivy League college and then are self-employed by 25. I don’t know many little girls that strive for happy healthy relationships when they’ve never actually even seen one in real life. I don’t know many little girls willing to stand up against everyone and lose the people they love most, because they have so much confidence in their dream and their ability to make the world a better place. Actually, I do know one little girl, ME. I DID THAT! (Also, Cardi B did that, just saying. #TeamCARDI)

It was hard because the path didn’t exist yet. And I couldn’t afford a chainsaw, so I had to knock down every tree by hand, by myself. And I’m still knocking down trees, but at least now I can afford an ax. For the first time in my life, I am able to efficiently help myself. And others when they need help too.

The thing is, I’m here now. I can see the fucking beach. And on the beach there are boats that I can afford. And all the chainsaws I could ever want! I can leave the island or I can stay and forge another path. A hundred more paths. A million more paths! I am free to make whatever decision I want and it will not be the hardest thing I’ve ever done because that phase of my life is over.

I’ve made it to the fucking beach. Do you know how easy it will be to chainsaw some trees when I’ve been knocking them down by hand my entire life? What obstacles?? Fuck it, maybe one day I’ll even have a bulldozer!

I have no idea what my future holds and I don’t even want to plan it because maybe I’ve been thinking too small. All I know is, I’m at the beach. I can feel the sand and I can smell the salt water. And I’m fucking running towards it.

Metaphor: Life is a jungle and you’ve gotta make it to the beach. Oh, and the chainsaw is privilege you get from being rich and/or white. I can’t be white, but I can be rich! #imnotblackimOJ #OJdidntgotojailformurder 🤷🏽‍♀️

Songs of the Day:  Fight Song x Rachel Platten | Formation x Beyonce 🧜🏽‍♀️

Update- How I Make Money 💸

Helloooooo ladies! I just uploaded Fuck Your Feelings and I am feeling all kinds of spicy. I also realized for an entrepreneur, my female entrepreneurship section is real empty. So hi, this is how I make my money and can vacation when I want (when I can afford), without technically having a job. And without literally having a boss. And without being a famous social influencer. It’s not always the most glamorous, but I’m pretty not prissy. Let’s do this. 🌸😎🥂

If you read my Quick Money post, then you might know I am the #queen of side hustles. But I’m getting older now. I’m 25. And consistency makes me happy. I just like consistency I can control and alter. (Ahem, flexibility). Which is why I make my money through 2 main channels at the moment: Uber and Temp Agencies.

Disclaimer: I pay for my own health insurance out of pocket.

Disclaimer: I get as many sick and vacation days as I want. I work for myself.

Disclaimer: You can start your own 401k. You don’t actually need a boss.

UBER

Uber is my baby boy. I love Uber. I make friends, I network, people give me free things like YSL perfume and sealed CBD samples*. Uber is a party in a job. Every day is different, and after you set aside your own taxes (approx. 20% depending on where you live), you make about $15-$20 per hour. And you get to set your own schedule and work as little or as much as you want. And they give you bonuses!

Personally, I’m a lazy girl. I do not like hard work. I like spending money and getting tan. But I also like being a strong independent woman and being able to afford my own online shopping and vacations. So I work to live. I work just enough to provide the life I want for myself. And then I go have fun.

I make money and I have the ability to shop or vacation whenever I want. Because I make my own schedule and I can make as much (or as little) money as I need.  Is Uber the most glamorous? No. Is my life? Pretty fucking close.

*I save the CBD samples for later when I’m home. Driving while high is dangerous and super illegal. So is driving while drunk. Duh.

TEMP AGENCY

So Uber is great, but sometimes my butt hurts. And sometimes I get really annoyed with people thinking I’m their personal chauffeur. I’m getting paid $5 for this ride Nancy. Shut the f*ck up and stop asking for air conditioning. Gas is literally $4.09/ga right now. That’s better than my college GPA. NO.

Sometimes I don’t want to drive people around all day. I want to sit in an office and check my backlogged emails, or work on my business plan, or binge read what’s up on CNN. And I want to get paid for it just like everybody else. That’s where temping comes in and it is absolutely amazing.

For personal reasons, I am not going to tell you which exact agencies I temp through, but I will tell you that your city probably has a few temp agencies in whatever field you are in OR would like to go into. 😁💸

In case you don’t know how temping works, on Friday or Monday your temp recruiter will call or email you with openings they have available and tell you the pay rate, dress code, parking situation, etc. The pay is usually between $12-$15 per hour in LA (which is also why I prefer Uber) and you are physically in that office either a half day or a whole day. Sometimes 1 day, sometimes 3 days, sometimes 2 half days, sometimes 2 weeks. If you don’t want to work for a month, email your recruiter and say so. You’re free! Do what you want!

OR you can come across a company you love, they ask you to stay full time, and BAM! You just got your dream job!

Temping is great for women who:

  1. want to travel the world and still “have a job”,
  2. are starting their own businesses and need flexibility, and
  3. might not know which field they want to go into and want to try a few first.

Temping is actually amazing and if you don’t want a job, I suggest you work for someone temporarily, get your own shit together, and not have to quit when you leave because you never actually worked there.

Question: which is more important, having a life you love or a job that you think people will be impressed by? Let me know in the comments section! Love you byeeee!

On Repeat: When We Were Young x Lost Kings 🎡

#followmeonSnapchatandInstagram #shamelessplug @LiahAmani