Self Love vs. Happiness

Self-Love (n): regard for one’s own well-being and happiness.

Self-love is not happiness. Let me say that one more time, self love is not happiness. I found myself in a bit of a funk recently and for the life of me, I could not figure out what was wrong. I meditated, I did yoga, I practiced little acts of self care throughout my day…and still, no happiness.

How could I not be happy if I loved myself? I woke up every day with the intention of loving myself, and I acted with that intention. Or so I thought..

Self love is not happiness. Happiness is a piece of self love, but it is not everything. Happiness is all the good stuff. Sacrifice, that’s the part of self-love people have a harder time accepting. I had a hard time accepting that I cannot have it all. I cannot live in a happy bubble, practicing all the positive aspects of self love, while ignoring life’s realities.

The first part of self love’s definition is, “regard for one’s well-being”. This is not all butterflies and roses. We need to own our whole selves, including the good and the bad parts. Self love means looking at those dark areas and loving yourself through them. It means crying and forgiving. It means breaking up with your shitty boyfriend who keeps cheating on you. Self love does not mean your are happy all the time.

Self love means sacrificing to stay aligned with your values, what you believe in. A face mask might make you happy, but it won’t fix your root problem; a face mask won’t improve your well-being.

We cannot have it all, so love yourself so much that you give yourself everything you need. Eat your emotional veggies. Be happy. 🙂

“The most courageous act is still to think for yourself. Aloud.” — Coco Chanel


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